[Another of those pauses. He's searching himself for motives; he always has so many angles he's assessing things from. It's chaotic sometimes. ...Most of the time. He's trying, for once, for the sake of his inmate, to just be straightforward. It's hard.]
Yes. Empathy. I wouldn't want someone to read my file. I don't want to read yours without permission.
...How much time do you have? How deep do you want me to dig? Because there are a few layers to the answer and I could give you the shallow one or I could give you the longer version.
[The look he gives is wary, but he nods. Motions for him to follow to the living room, which has two water features gurgling away on the wall, and a tall window overlooking the ocean.]
I got in a fight with an inmate I was temporarily paired with.
Yeah, well, this one was because he was demoted and I have a bad history with demotees. I let it get to me. I taunted him; I told him I'd read his file when I got it.
I never actually read my first inmate's file. Not any of it. Everything I know about her, I learned through being with her. The first time I came back, it wasn't for a deal. It was because I believed inmates needed better advocates.
I got halfway through your file and realized just how far I'd fallen from that belief. And I didn't like it.
[ Oh, there are so many places he could stick a knife, so many things he could say to be cruel, to make him feel worse, things that might give him leverage later on.
But Vincent doesn't trust this many openings. Which is why he simply nods. ]
So you see a file as a weapon to use against an inmate?
I was afraid of what they would do with the information. But I also hoard intel. I always have. I'm better about it now than I used to be but...that's not saying much, all told.
[Answering Vincent's questions is hard and they're not even that probing yet.]
As an opportunity. Even if you never let me read it, I think you should read it. There may be something in here that can tell you what you're here for. How to graduate. There may be something useful.
I appreciate the advice, truly, but I meant that file in your hands.
Would you, in my shoes, still see it as a weapon, a threat? Vulnerability scrawled large upon a page... or do you think I, as an inmate, should see it differently than you did?
Without reading it I couldn't really say. I don't know how much of your vulnerabilities are written here. What I saw was just an overview of your background. You, as an inmate, as my inmate, get to decide how much more of it I see or don't.
[ His lips pull back a little, not quite a bearing of teeth but more of a rictus than a smile. His voice isn't harsh, just matter of fact. He knows how this works. He knows how this goes. Charity must be offered visibly, even if it's a lie. Piousness must be shown to the fools, even by the sinner. ]
You've had my file for two months. What you chose to do with it or not has been your decision, and in that time, I was not consulted... on anything, as a matter of fact. I was given busywork, oh yes, help in the kitchens. And I have been dutiful, sir. If the beginning of my file has told you nothing else, it should tell you that I am dutiful.
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[ And here, he will hold up a finger. ]
It is a privilege you have decided to afford me. By all evidence, it is not a right.
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Empathy?
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Yes. Empathy. I wouldn't want someone to read my file. I don't want to read yours without permission.
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[ It's not an accusation. It's a part of the equation. ]
What changed between then and now?
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I would rather have you understand me than not. So I suppose I want to give you the longer answer.
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I got in a fight with an inmate I was temporarily paired with.
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That does seem to happen. Fights, I mean.
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I never actually read my first inmate's file. Not any of it. Everything I know about her, I learned through being with her. The first time I came back, it wasn't for a deal. It was because I believed inmates needed better advocates.
I got halfway through your file and realized just how far I'd fallen from that belief. And I didn't like it.
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But Vincent doesn't trust this many openings. Which is why he simply nods. ]
So you see a file as a weapon to use against an inmate?
[ A jab, but the gentlest one in there. ]
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So you agree with Arthur, then?
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[Answering Vincent's questions is hard and they're not even that probing yet.]
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How do you think I should see it?
From your perspective. If you were in my shoes.
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I appreciate the advice, truly, but I meant that file in your hands.
Would you, in my shoes, still see it as a weapon, a threat? Vulnerability scrawled large upon a page... or do you think I, as an inmate, should see it differently than you did?
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[ His lips pull back a little, not quite a bearing of teeth but more of a rictus than a smile. His voice isn't harsh, just matter of fact. He knows how this works. He knows how this goes. Charity must be offered visibly, even if it's a lie. Piousness must be shown to the fools, even by the sinner. ]
You've had my file for two months. What you chose to do with it or not has been your decision, and in that time, I was not consulted... on anything, as a matter of fact. I was given busywork, oh yes, help in the kitchens. And I have been dutiful, sir. If the beginning of my file has told you nothing else, it should tell you that I am dutiful.